The first thing you expect to experience in India is the notorious
traffic and the unique Indian driving style. And trust me, Mumbai will not let
you down. Driving is so on the edge, that navigating through the streets of
Mumbai, feels like a constant collision in the making. The city lives in the
absolute boundaries of entropy. But miraculously, nothing ever happens. Cars,
buses, cabs, motorcycles, bikes and people, they all become one heterogeneous
crowd that manages to share the city.
However, in a city of eighteen million people vehicles and
people are on the move, around the clock. And Indians are not exactly the most
disciplined people you will encounter. That means for example that it is
impossible to apply the western rules of savoir vivre and allow every
pedestrian to cross the street whenever they feel. That would simply paralyze
the entire city. On the other hand, drivers have to be aggressive, to fight for
their right on the street. And they do that because if they don’t somebody else
will definitely do. That is the way it works in Mumbai. So, they will strive, and accelerate, and
sneak in, and they will push it to the edge, until the opponent driver yields
and surrender.
The main weapon for this battle of streets is no other than
the horn. In India, it doesn’t matter how fast or powerful your engine is.
Horsepower is of minor importance in the streets of Mumbai. After all, where
are you going to go? There is no much space to accelerate or speed. The
dominance of your car over the others relies entirely on the power of your
horn.
Indians are blowing the horn non-stop, no matter what. They
will use for the reasons that the rest of the world does, plus any other reason
that you can imagine. They blow it when the green light goes on, when they want
to overtake another car, to warn another driver that there is no f* way they
are moving aside so they ‘d better think twice. They blow it to warn pedestrians
to run for their lives.! I feel sometimes they blow it to keep them sharp and
awake, or just because they feel that they are somehow boosting their speed.
The funniest part though is this writing you see on the back
of almost any truck, van or bus. It says: “Horn OK Please”. The first thing you
will think is that this makes no sense. It’s because it doesn’t. No matter how
many people I have asked, no one was able to give me a plausible explanation. I
have concluded that this is one of those multi-meaning phrases, equivalent to
those articulated by prophets, like Pythia in ancient Delfoi in Greece. Just
for the history, Pythia used to tell to the person that was visiting her for
advice, a phrase that could have so many interpretations, that finally she
miraculously always predicting the future. This way, she maintained her fame
intact, the money just kept on coming, and she was peacefully enjoying her
ancient hash at the foothills of mount Parnassus.
Likewise, Horn OK Please could either mean that: “You are
absolutely welcome to blow your horn at me, so go ahead”, or one could perceive
it as: “No matter how hard you blow your
horn on me, I really don’t give a damn”, or it could also be something like,:“Please
go easy on the horn, I have sensitive ears”. No ne knows! It is like a
tradition that you don’t know its roots or meaning but you blindly follow it
because your great-grandfather used to ride a camel with the Horn OK Please
written on the camel’s ass!
Surprisingly..not, there is a Wikipedia post about “Horn OK
Please”. According to this digital magician of our tribe (Wikipedia), the
trucks that used to run on kerosene after the World War II, had to write it on
the back wing: “On Kerosene”. The main characteristic of kerosene
is that it is super unstable and the minor collision would trigger the
explosion of the vehicle. And this is where the “Horn Please” comes in. The
driver of the truck was warning the following vehicles that his car is running
on kerosene therefore they should warn him in case they would attempt an
overtake, so that he won’t make any sudden move that would cause an accident. There
are a couple of other stories there, but I don’t really think anyone truly
knows what this is all about. This is just another of India’s great mysteries….
